What Do We Do With The Kind People?

I’m reading a very well-written book.  It’s not that I normally read garbage, but the styles are meant to entertain and grab the reader.  This book is a thinker. 

There was a passage that stuck with me.  One character was describing he deeds of the great people of history, and she said that kindness must come before brilliance, or what is the point of it all?  It stuck with me because if I’ve had a constant in my life, it is to be as kind as possible in every situation.  Every time I miss that opportunity I consider it a failure.  I have thought a lot about this in my life and I don’t exactly know where kindness fits in when considering the grand scheme of our culture.

I went to church when I was very small.  I don’t remember liking the experience and the sitting and kneeling and standing, but I do remember what I was taught about Jesus.  Jesus was kind, accepting, loving, peaceful, forgiving and he helped the poor.  That stuck.  If I just hung with those traits as close as I could, I was doing the right thing, no matter what I believed later in life.  I read books by Kurt Vonnegut, who didn’t think much of humanity but believed our one true responsibility was to be kind.  I wanted to be the kind guy, and I can safely say that to many of the people I know me, I am that guy. 

It is me.  It is by design.  My belief is that we need this in the world.  So, I try to be just that.  I screw up, I swear, I get laid off, I eat too much, I get depressed and angry, I argue and get petty and reactionary.  But I try to remain kind.

As an adult, a kind man has few places to fit in.  Being kind is a detriment in a capitalist dynamic.  You must learn how to sell, or sell yourself, which requires deception and lying.  Competition brings out aggression, which does not breed kindness.  Most men assume kindness is weakness, or feminine, or immature.  I don’t know how to interpret this.  I’m a cog in the machine like everyone else, but kindness has no place in the machine.  When I’m competitive, I don’t relish winning all that much.  When I have to sell myself, I want to identify with someone, not impress them. 

This is just how my brain works.  To some, I am sappy.  I am a sucker.

(Then again, education with kindness could mold the greatest minds we’ve ever witnessed. Democracy laced with human kindness can last forever.  Capitalism laced with kindness could be stronger than any system on the planet.)

Kindness doesn’t make headlines, only at the end of the news broadcast do you hear about something kind.  The president and his followers aren’t kind. They gained control by glamorizing the exact opposite of kindness.  The predators and egomaniacal assholes coming to light in the #metoo era aren’t kind.  They wouldn’t lord power over others if they were.

I’m a kind white male. Straight. In my forties. What can I do?  Does anyone who looks for recognition or justice give a damn about what I think or do?  Does it even matter?  Is that the entire point?

I don’t need that type of help.  I’m fortunate. But I would like to let others know that there is kindness in the world, and the people who practice come in all shapes, sizes and colors.  They are men, women and gender neutral, they are wealthy and poor.  They are smart and dumb.  I know. They might not make the news, but I can vouch for their existence. Maybe that’s why kind people are around.  Just to serve as a counterpoint to the unkind. Their tiny little deeds don’t shape society or bend global events to their philosophy. They only remind people of the kindness buried deep within.