Jesse Ventura, Pizza, and Alabama

Jesse, the Body-governator…?

It’s election time!

              I will illustrate my frustration with a wee bit of research and history. And Jesse Ventura.

              Jesse became the governor of Minnesota in 1998.  He ran as a third-party candidate, the same Reform Party started by Ross Perot years earlier as another third-party candidate in the presidential race.  He beat out the Democrat and the Republican in a tight three-way race.  Ventura secured the most of the three and won the election.

              He got 37% of the votes.

              That’s right.  That means 63% of the voters did not vote for him.  That means most of Minnesota voted against him and he won. Regardless of the party who won, not securing a majority is a fundamental flaw in an election like this. In fact, the will of the majority of voters is the foundation of democracy, right?

              You are hanging out with friends on the weekend.  Someone pipes up that the group should get some dinner. You are excited about going out to eat with friends, but you have to decide where you are going. Let’s say it’s a good group of 13.  Everyone has an opinion and six want pizza, four want Thai, and three want something fancy.  What do you do? Pizza has the most votes but most of the group voted against it.  What happens?

              The pizza people and the Thai people need to get people on their sides.  The fancy food people are screwed.  They could try to lure a few of the other two groups away but that just makes a messier stalemate.  Turns out, one of the pizza’s is married to one of the Thai’s and she gets her husband to jump ship and now pizza has a majority. Although this is real life bullshit, it is a real version of democracy. Elections are like this right up until voting day.

              The problem with multiple parties is that the majority of voters could end up left behind completely.  There is an existing solution to this.  Run-off elections.  A second election with the top two finishers. A few states have these to decide the winner.

              The top two.  To establish the majority.  That’s where we are now.

              I don’t think that multiple parties are the answer, or what we are all looking for with our government.  It seems that people want something from their government that they aren’t getting. Now is the craziest the elections cycles have ever been, and it is a freaky situation.  But it’s pretty common in modern history to think that there needs to be new voices in the government that represent other opinions of how things should work.

              Is that really the problem?

              One, most of what I can see of outsider platforms either already exist somewhere within the two major parties, or they are so unrealistic that no sitting Congress would ever vote for them, regardless of majority. Two, I think that a good chunk of American aren’t fully aware of what a president or a majority in Congress can actually do, even in the best of circumstances.  The government gets blamed for gas prices and inflation and potholes and UFO’s and drone strikes and water pressure and the proliferation of funky-flavored Oreos.

              And if you believe the government should help people with basic needs, through education, healthcare, civil rights and mutual respect, there is a party dedicated to that.  Holding them accountable is our job.  If you believe the government is a bunch of crooks that steal your money and give it to people of color and we should regress into a segregated society where women have no agency and everyone who isn’t a white male with money can go fuck right off, there is a party dedicated to that, too.

              In 2024, there is an endless chasm of difference between the two candidates.  I mean, what are we fucking talking about, here? They are both old farts.  Fine. One is a doddering public servant who should have retired two decades ago.  The other is the most corrupt, vile, disgusting, racist, sexist, narcissistic, lying, cheating, backstabbing, illiterate, stupid piece of shit America has ever produced.  I also wish the candidates were different.  I wish they were a lot younger and we had an age limit.  But we don’t.  This is what we got. 

              If you think Nader running in 2000 was good for the country, I disagree.  We got Bush by like 11 votes.  Do you think Gore would have invaded Iraq?

              If you think Bernie had a chance, I also disagree.  Those Democrats who withheld and cost Clinton the victory, you didn’t help anything.  Still think it doesn’t matter who steers the ship?  45 put THREE justices on the court.  That hasn’t produced any issues, right?

              I loved George Carlin so much growing up.  When he leaned into politics in the 90s, one of his bits seared in my brain about all of this mess: Maybe it’s on us.  Maybe the public sucks.  Maybe we need to take these things more seriously and less about the endless river of drivel we wade in every day.   More people have a firm opinion on who should win an Oscar than they do about any specific candidate.  We have a lot of nerve blaming all of this on the officials we vote in to represent us.  It kind of reminds me of when Florida catches all the shit from the rest of us as the craziest and crappiest state.  I’m not arguing against it, but I also don’t like the idea of Mississippi and Alabama feeling all high and mighty because they don’t get the press.  Hey guys? You suck, too.