My Star Wars Fanboy Cred

I have no memory of seeing the first Star Wars.

I was 5 in 1977, and my mother has a terrible memory.  She doesn’t remember either. But I sure as shit saw it. I can remember every movie I have ever seen in a theater, who I was with and where I saw it (No lie) but I can’t remember my favorite movie of all time. 

That’s right.  It’s my favorite. Back to the Future is slated right behind it, and I believe that’s because of age.  When Star Wars came out it was everything.  I don’t need to go into the cinematic history and all that shit.  It’s been done.  But I can tell you about what it was like to pretend to be Luke Skywalker in my pj’s before I knew anything about anything.

In 1978-79, my life was all about Star Wars.  I think I would take the occasional break and worship Spider-Man, but Luke and Han and the Millennium Falcon was all I wanted in the world. The story goes that in 1978, my grandmother went to the toy story and grabbed one of every action figure she could off the rack and gave them to me for Christmas.  The box was from the local clothing store, but when I opened it there was a sea of first generation Star Wars figures.  I still remember I got two Leia’s and two Power Droids in that box.  Chewie, Han, Luke, Vader, a bunch of aliens from the cantina, and Obi-Wan with the plastic robe. 

No, I don’t still have them.  I played with them all the time.  That’s why they existed.

I had a Millennium Falcon that I treasured.  I still remember holding the landing gear as a handle and flying the ship around the house.  The chess table inside was a nice detail, but honestly, I didn’t need it.

 I used to pretend I was Luke.  All the time.  I always had to be Luke.  I never once wanted to be a villain.  I never wanted to be Han Solo.  Luke.  The force.  Lightsaber.  Done. I used to talk out loud to Ben Kenobi, as if he were an imaginary friend.  He would let me know of the danger ahead, around the corner, in the living room.

I cried when Han Solo was frozen in Empire. I walked out of the theater into the lobby and watched through a crack in the door.  I hated that movie for it.  It took me years to reconcile that it was a great scene in a great movie.  I still remember seeing Luke’s green lightsaber for the first time in Return of the Jedi.  Something about a different color of lightsaber blew my mind.

  I got a few of those toys from those movies too, and I coasted to about eleven or twelve before the wave was over.  The original three were done, and I was going to be a teenager soon.  I was ready to hear about new stories and become obsessed with time travel.  Plus, you know…girls and stuff.

My kids were of age when the prequels came around.  I consider myself lucky, because even though the movies aren’t good, I got to enjoy them anyway through my kids’ eyes. They had ships and figures and games, and Legos.  It was awesome.  It was never the same as when I was little, though. Star Wars was huge, but there was so much competition from video games and other movie franchises.  When I was playing with my Lando Calrissian with the removable mask from Jabba’s Palace, the world of Star Wars still seemed to outshine anything else. 

Now it really is back.  Luke is an old guy now (Mark Hamill is the same age as my mother) and I’m about to see him say stuff on screen for the first time in 34 years.  The John Williams themes, the Force, the lightsabers, the big crawl at the beginning…and Luke. 

I don’t see myself talking to Obi-Wan when I finish watching the new movie.  But, I’m not ruling it out.