When Your Spouse Is A Friggin' Nerd

Guess which one's the nerd?

My wife gave me a wonderful gift a few weeks ago.  We were attempting to cool off near our window AC unit on a particularly annoying August summer day.  Neither one of us are summer people, and the will to go and do and be and live eludes us until mid-September or so.  She asked me: “What are your favorite TV characters of all time?”

For some people that would be an inane conversation starter, but for me, it is something that could keep me occupied for hours.  You, see, my wife is married to a nerd.  She, herself is not a nerd, nor is she nerdy.  But after a few decades of living with one, she understands the potential that having one around can present.

I don’t want to detail the aspects of a nerdy person, or the difference between a nerd or a geek, or the fact that just because you liked Iron Man doesn’t make you anything special or not special. To be completely factual, I’m only part-nerd.  There are many aspects of pure nerdliness that I lack, or have abandoned.  I know when to let stuff go.  I know how to pick my battles and avoid arguments over irrelevant horseshit. I know that this is a world only partially based in logic; that human emotions, relationships and traditions factor into everything.

My wife knows that I’m into stuff.  That is a universal nerd attribute.  We are passionate.  We have an emotional attachment to a wide array of stuff. She knows that tossing me a question about putting some arbitrary metrics to a list of my own opinion and design will begin a discussion. We’ll also find some fun in it.  It’s as if I am a dog and she bought a new chew toy.  I have to rip into it.  I can’t let it just sit there.  I need to round out my top ten, AND I have to help her round out hers. 

She boiled my nerdliness down to a few personality details.  I have a good memory.  I am full of references. And, I like the stuff nerds like.  I like fiction, I like sci-fi, time travel, superheroes, and I get all excited about all of that stuff. That’s about it.  There’s no math involved, there is no dressing up, there are no fictional languages spoken.  Pretty average nerd-cred.

For the spouse, I am the entertainment center.  It’s a deal we made a long time ago that seems to be panning out okay.  I try my best to get her hyped up for things, but it’s usually a losing battle. I can say for certain she was on board with the Lord of the Rings movies and all the Harry Potter stuff before me.  She was responsible for sending me down those rabbit holes.  She picks and chooses superhero stuff.  Yes to Avengers, no to Superman.  She does not give a damn about time travel, which was a tough pill to swallow.  But I keep trying, and I think that’s the whole point.

Unless you have another nerd in close proximity, you are left to your own creative devices to play with nerd stuff.  The internet is there, but it’s not the same.  Too many angry nerds out there who don’t know how to have fun.  So, when the Mrs. throws me something like rating my favorite TV characters you know damn sure I’m going to deliver.  And, I will be honest.  This occurred on a weekend.  If this had happened during the week, when I clearly had a bunch of work to get done, the list of TV characters would be first and foremost on my mind.  I remember my old drone jobs; frittering away in front of a computer.  When the opportunity came to make a list or solve a puzzle, all work stopped.

As it should, if you ask me.

So I am thankful to my wife for feeding this undying beast.  Good luck in your endeavors to satiate the nerd in your life.

For the nerds, here’s my final list. I stuck with TV dramas only. I kept it to one character per show, and in no particular order:

Frank Pembleton – Homicide: Life on the Street

Desmond Hume - Lost

Omar Little – The Wire

Josh Lyman – The West Wing

Jesse Pinkman – Breaking Bad

Raylan Givens - Justified

Alice Morgan – Luther

Malcolm Reynolds – Firefly

Helena – Orphan Black

Sherlock Holmes – Sherlock