Are You a Serious Person?

            This one came to me from an unexpected source, the so-so CBS drama Madam Secretary.  (We’re parents in our forties and it’s on, ok?)  A discussion between the titular character and one of her aides resulted in the question: “Are you a serious person? Because I only want to work with serious people” Or, something close to that.  The aide responded that he was indeed a serious person and up to the job she had given him.  That minor subplot aside, that question stuck with me. 

Are you a serious person?  I feel that I should say yes; that it implies maturation, professionalism, and a level of respect.  But, if I’m honest, there is no way in God’s green earth that I am a serious person.

            I should set some parameters here.  This has nothing to do with ability; it is what you value.  A serious person could very well handle the challenges of the upper echelons of government, business, academia, scientific research, professional bowling…  But, what it takes to get to the top is strict adherence to your priorities.  Sacrifice.  We all sacrifice something.  How much are you willing to sacrifice to get that thing you want?  Serious people know how to sacrifice. A lot.

            I often wondered if I was a lazy lump of crap.  Mental illness aside, I just never felt the motivation to strive to reach the top of anything.  If you take judgment out of it, you realize most people in human history don’t reach the top.  Only the few serious (and many times lucky) people make it and sustain that type of life guidance counselors told you about. 

            There is the thought about values. This notion of reaching the top or being a serious person is not necessarily a worldwide belief.  Some of its western thought, some of its just American.  Do French or Japanese people think this way? How about Ghana or Argentina or Canada?  Americans come from somewhere else, and there always seems to be a mixed bag or DNA and traditions that float around in our heads from the old country.  I am not a Protestant.  I have no lineage to pilgrims or eighteenth-century landowners.  ‘Work, work, work or you won’t get into heaven’ was never part of my bag, baby.  If anything, I probably have more in common with my French and Italian roots.  Europeans, physically toiling outside in the sunshine, sipping wine and eating insanely good food four times a day.  They value living and having relationships with what they work with all day. 

Work to live, instead of live to work, and all that.

            If you break it down, I value two things above all else in my life.  Relationships and creative thought.  I love my family and friends, and I love chatting, reading and writing about interesting things.  Those values do not support a serious person.  I did not mention hard work, frugality, business sense, logic, competitiveness, duty, or a sense of purpose.  Those are the values of a serious person.  Or at least, they are on their list somewhere. 

            I am a dad and a husband.  I am a guy who has had a bunch of jobs, and will probably have a few more.  I don’t care about putting my stamp on anything.  My deepest regret is that I have not learned how to socialize effectively and am missing out on chatting and spending time with other people.  And, I wish I was better at guitar. It’s probably for the best that I’m not serious. There has to be some of us that aren’t, right? A world full of serious, responsible people?  How boring would that be?