So…Christmastime…

There is absolutely nothing not 1970's about this photo.

            I guess I do judge people on how they celebrate Christmas.  It is kinda stupid, and I make exceptions for obvious religious purposes, but I find that your attitude toward the holiday tells me a little about who you are the rest of the year.  There are the frazzled, the complainers, the overzealous, the perfectionists, the guilt machines and the rest of us, who fall somewhere in the middle.
            I can’t deal with psychos who overplan, but I really don’t get along with Grinches who are cheap and don’t possess a giving bone in their body.  I also don’t need to hear another syllable about the origins of the secular celebration of Christmas, commercialism and the nonexistent war on Christmas.  I am the most irked by the complainers. Shopping for gifts and making a few dinners isn’t like facing down ISIS in Iraq.  It’s just some comfy socks and assorted nogs.  Calm the hell down.
            Christmas was a time when my parents got their shit together.  Until I was around 11 or so, that time of year was as cool as it could get for my brother and me.  We had a few big surprises, my mom baked, we got into the Johnny Mathis on vinyl records, and we trimmed the tree within an inch of its life.  Best surprise gift?  Atari 2600 console.  Yes, I’m that old.  Matt and I lost our shit. 
            But it was the time of year that I loved.  It was at least a little cooler in Florida, which always made me feel better.  Neighbors put up lights and decorations.  There were parties and treats and days off and more time with friends and Frosty on TV and old movies and it was all…different.  I think that’s what has stuck with me.  This is just a different time of year.  Whether you celebrate the holiday in a religious or secular fashion, or an American combo of the two, the scenery changes.  Schedules change. The daily routine is altered to accommodate frivolous stuff like mistletoe and ugly sweaters and shopping and goofing off.
            I’ve always been the Christmas guy around here. My wife is no Scrooge; she was just born without a “making a fuss about things” strand of DNA.  I decorate inside and out.  I go find a tree, put it up, and decorate it.  I make plans for all the gifts, buy the gifts, and wrap, tag, and hide the gifts.  I adhere to the traditions and look to make new ones.  All me. My wife cooks the Christmas dinner.  (Standing rib roast.  Quickly becoming my favorite part of the day.)
            When my kids were tiny, this was an absolute pleasure.  You can feel a kid’s anxiety as the 25th approaches. The 24this a nightmare to them.  They watch the clock and do anything to make the day somehow go faster. Christmas morning was the absolute best thing about being a parent. I remember a million smiles and silliness and I’m proud that I was there for all of it.  But, now they aren’t little turds anymore.  They are big and old, and the boys are young men with hairy legs and my daughter lost interest in dolls a long time ago.
            Now what?
            So many people lose it right here. They break down because the little ones are gone. It’s another sting from an empty nest. You were lucky enough to realize the work that goes into preparing a Christmas for little ones is the best part of the holiday, and now it’s gone.  No gift was ever better than watching my boys open up their lightsabers.  That gift doesn’t exist.  But I’m still ticking, and the calendar rounds its way to December every year, so what do I do?  Flip through photo albums and cry like a mom in an Old Spice commercial?  No way.
            Just like you adjust your life when the kids arrive, and when they grow up, you adjust your holiday.  I’ve been running this show for twenty years, anyway.  Now, it’s for me. (Well, me and the Mrs., but since I’m the grand poobah of the season, it’s really my Christmas.)
            I do as much as I want or as little as I want.  If I wasn’t to change something, I do it. If I want to decorate, I do it.  If I feel like going overboard, I do that shit, too.  Define your own holiday.  I don’t expect all my kids to appreciate anything; that’s a fool’s errand.  I feel no pressure other that the pressure I wish to feel.  It is a gift I give myself and my blood pressure thanks me.
            So for anyone feeling the squeeze of the holiday, just define it yourself.  If you truly value the season you can still enjoy it on your own terms and take your loved ones along for the ride. It is still a weird, unique time of year and there are still people who appreciate it.  And to those to don’t, New Year’s Eve is a week away, and that completely meaningless and useless holiday is made just for you.

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My Anxiety Files – Battling the Albatross of Negativity