The Dawn of Pay Cable, or I Just Watched Midnight Madness Again
...and introducing Michael J Fox, as the pain in the ass little brother...
Before
the 1980’s became the Madonna-drenched, hairspray-laden breakdancing
clusterfuck we all remember, there was a brief and unique period that
immediately preceded it. It was roughly
1980 to 1983-ish; a small era where it wasn’t the 70’s anymore and MTV, Michael
Jackson and Miami Vice had yet to
truly influence the scene. It was just a
nondescript blah of the first round of Generation X teenagers; kids that looked
like extras from The Bad News Bears
were growing up and becoming a bunch of foul-mouthed cranks with no
direction. It is the realm of Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Pat
Benatar, knee-high gym socks and rollerskating, the end of disco and the
beginning of well… not much.
This
was my era. Well, my era to be a
tweener. It was not memorable at
all. However, there is one detail with
which anyone my age can usually connect; the beginning of cable TV. We were the first generation of kids with
HBO. That’s right, four local channels
and the special box that gave you uncut movies.
Eventually the same box would be the gateway for seeing boobs; but for right
then and there it was about those movies.
We were still kids who watched whatever was on when it was time to watch
TV. Reruns, black and white movies,
cartoons from the 1940’s, it didn’t really matter. When HBO was available, we
followed the same ritual. Whatever piece
of garbage that was on, we ate it up.
One thing to remember: HBO repeated the same movies over and over and
over, sometimes for years. Three times a
day you might see Ice Pirates or MegaForce, Hooper or The Secret of NIMH,
The Great Muppet Caper or Super Fuzz, and the next day, Ordinary People and Chariots of Fire. But the
crappy movies were the best because kids could understand them, and we also
weren’t children with the burden of irony.
We actually thought these movies were cool.
They’re
not. But we thought they were when we
were ten, and that’s all that matters.
Midnight Madness
(1980), feels like an episode of Happy Days. It is actually a Disney movie, although Disney
did not put its name on it until its rerelease in 2004. It is a scavenger hunt movie, where five
teams of college kids run all over Los Angeles getting clues to eventually lead
them to a finish line. That’s it. It is a light comedy with jokes that still
made me laugh when I re-watched it. I
don’t want to nitpick the film, because it’s just silly, but I do want to point
out one thing. When I was ten, I thought
these clues were so clever and I would have loved to be involved. As an adult, they could not be easier. If these are college kids, they should have
never been allowed to graduate.
This
is one of those 80’s movies of the area with all the most cookie cutter clichés
you could possibly want in there. All of
the jocks are dumb, beer-swilling animals.
The nerds are dorky and unlikeable, and led by Eddie Deezen, the king of
all nerd actors. All the fat people are
ugly and gross. They seem to make an
extra effort to make the fat people disgusting.
Old people are slow, rich kids were jerks, and handsome guys have trouble
with girls. So clear cut; so
refreshingly simple.
A
few observations:
Oh,
the things they thought computers could do.
Stephen Furst’s (Flounder from Animal
House) character Harold has a rich dad who buys him a new van, complete
with flames painted on the side, and an onboard computer to win the game. (Why is not clear. The prize is just a trophy). This computer
can “solve any clue in five seconds” so Harold can cheat and win. Remember, no internet. He types in the clue
and for some reason, it spits out the answer. His dad just had a clue-solving
computer lying around gathering dust in the garage or something.
Michael
J. Fox is in there as a little brother who looks 14 but was actually 19 in real
life. Two years before Family Ties, five before Back to the Future. Paul Reubens also has a cameo.
The
ugliest character onscreen was the game’s creator, Leon. He organized the Great
All-Nighter for some reason. For the entire movie, he was flanked by two hot
chicks, Candy and Sunshine, who seemed to be at his beck and call. Was he a
pimp? Again, no explanation. Disney movie.
One
more scene. I remember it driving me nuts as a young nerd. One of the stops is at a miniature golf
course. The jocks leap out of the bushes and take the nerds’ ball. They throw it into the water trap. While everyone is leaving to find the next
clue, the nerds are in the water, in rubbers waders, looking for the lost ball.
Even as a little kid I could not believe it: “Just get another damn ball!”
If
you can stomach this era, if you can handle the hair and the awful clothes and
the ridiculous theme song, if you can handle the cheesiness and Michael J Fox’s
annoying bratty brother character, this movie is still pretty fun. Apparently there are some tributes to the
movie around the country, with real life Great All-Nighters and dammit, I still
want to do one.